Wednesday, March 30, 2005

Johnnie Cochrane R.I.P.

This week marks the passing of the famous attorney, Johnnie Cochrane who became well-known for his defense of O.J. Simpson in the trial of the Nineties. It was his ubiquitious coined phrase, "If the glove don't fit, you must acquit" that became the definitive soundbite in the court case charging the former NFL running back with the double homicide of his wife Nicole Brown Simpson and alleged lover Ron Goldman. Simpson's defending attorneys dubbed 'The Dream Team' also consisted of prominent high-profile lawyer, F. Lee Bailey and Marcia Clark. Judge Lance Ito presided during the nine month trial, making the case the world's most ethnically variegated media circus of the 20th Century.

Cochrane was characterized in the popular comedic NBC television sitcom, Seinfeld in a string of episodes that featured his likeness as the attorney Jackie Childs. Surprisingly, Terry Schiavo outlived Cochrane. He was 67 years old.

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

The News

I don't watch the news on television unless it's the BBC. BBC news is on point and they don't lie. Well, one time they lied and reported that British scientists were conducting breakthrough experiments in Antarctica because it's interesting. These whitecoats were apparently following penguins around, capturing them and placing metal identification bands around their feet. The scientists then went into their sleeping quarters and waited for a long time. While they were waiting, they drew up an analysis, compared charts and predicted that a majority of the penguins would not remain together as the group they were once a part of. The day came and the scientists traveled the bleak tundra in search of the penguins. One scientist noted that some of the penguins migrated away from the area of their capture and the rest of the penguins that continued to live there had removed the metal bands from their feet. One scientist pondered if the penguins had the ability to remove the bands from their own feet. What they initially failed to realize is that the penguins had fostered the intelligence to remove the bands from each other. Consequently, the scientists and the funding for the research were removed. They returned to England and began work on a project to develop a hormone treatment for Prince Charles so that he does not appear homosexual.