Saturday, June 24, 2006

It's The End Of The World (As We Know It) And George Carlin Feels Fine

The other night I caught a new HBO stand-up special from George Carlin. He has finally grown into the angry curmudgeon we all started seeing glimpses of in comedy specials past. Always the nihilist, Carlin proclaimed the pure joy and entertainment value he gets from seeing the world fall to shit. Talking about natural disasters like hurricanes, tsunamis and floods, he finds the karmic repercussions of humanity's calamities in the equation of man destroying the environment and the environment ruthlessly finding its balance.

In 1990, my eighth-grade environmental science class learned about the possibility of global warming and the realization of the Greenhouse Effect in our lifetimes. We learned how chemicals such as CFCs and how high gasoline emissions will begin disintegrating what's left of our ozone layer and making our world a more hotter, cancerous and miserable place to live in. I thought it would be one day maybe in the year 2040 when I'm old and wrinkly and when I'm 64 that I might peel my carcinogenic, geriatric ass off the couch from watching Superbowl LXXIV to turn the main ultra aquapurification filter on so I can take an evening shower without boiling my skin.

But Al Gore has a movie out that documents this stark reality. Instead of challenging the supreme courts of justice that were perverted in order to bypass and overturn his win for presidency 5 1/2 years ago, he has set out to warn everyone about how the environment will make a turn for the worse. Yeah, thanks Al, you're like the innocent guy who escapes the bank robbery and is on the street speaking to the six o'clock news.

After Hurricane Katrina completely destroyed New Orleans because of faulty levees and lack of warning and preparation, you would wonder if the government and FEMA would be on top of their collective games this time. As hurricane season begins to unfold and new weather systems form and approach, you would hope these agencies will do more than report the discrepancies and casualties this time around.

Let's face it - Mother Nature is pissed and she has us all bent over her knees, spanking the living daylights out of us until we finally learn how not to mess with her. Think about that the next time your lease runs out and you're thinking of upgrading your SUV to a bigger model. Because you might need that monstrous behemoth of a car that takes $50 to fill the tank, who knows if your kid may develop a progressive pituitary gland disorder that will have him at 6' 10'' and 395 pounds at nine years old. Then you can really justify ownership.

Don't get it twisted, I'm not opting for hybrid cars in the carpool lane and treehugging politics, I'm just opting for some common sense. Gas prices are rising as the war for oil rages on without an intelligent plan for action and we are buying right into the matrix. We have more dollars than sense. Statistics say that we are spending more at the pump than contributing money to environmental protection agencies. It's not like the government is going to subsidize tax dollars for funding. They could give a shit about what happens to the environment.

George Carlin remarked at one point during his special that as long as people are getting struck by natural disasters, he will be tuned in to the television to watch it happen because it truly entertains him. It's not ironic that other rich old white guys are doing the same.